I deleted my Xanga account after two years of non-use because well, it was time. Those posts were so old, and I was so cheesy back then. But I was a total pussy about it and decided to copy and paste all my posts to a Word document just in case I wanted to look back at my cheesy self and reflect on how far I’ve come. Also, I had a few keepers, like this great post about how Lance was a total supportive and loving rockstar the day I got food poisoning, even though it was his birthday. But as I hit the “save” button in Word, I got this error message that said “Dear Megan. I hate you and want you to die. But I can’t kill you because I’m just a computer. So instead, I will make you totally miserable by fucking up RIGHT NOW so that all your blog posts are permanently deleted and you can NEVER see them again. Plus, you deserve this because are a total idiot for deleting your xanga account, THEN attempting to save me. Why don’t you kick yourself in the ass?”

Lance will never believe me, but I SWEAR that’s what it said.