It’s 97 degrees today, and it might as well be 97 million.  I would rather drink a lukewarm coffee with 10 Splendas in it than step foot outside my air-conditioned house and INTO HELL, but my son is of the opposite opinion, which I do not understand. All his toys are inside in the nice cold air! What is there to even do out there? But he spends half his day going over to the door, banging on it, and looking back at me with a pitiful little face and a whine.

And I’m all, “But the MOSQUITOES.” And he’s all, “Henhhh?” And I’m all “But the HEAT.” And he’s like, “HENHHH!” And I’m all, “But the HUMIDITY!” And he’s all, “Listen woman, open this damn door before I break it down.”

So as I was sitting outside with Noah yesterday, swatting bugs away, miserably fanning myself, and dipping my feet into the kiddie pool WHICH HE WILL NOT GET INTO ALREADY, I got to thinking, there have to be SOME good things about this god-awful season. I remember liking it when I got out of school for two and a half months, but surely there’s something else to like about it now those days are gone. I came up with a short list for you, Reader. Maybe it can help you, too, make peace with the summer.

1. Summer thunderstorms, but only if they don’t bring tornadoes along with them (2011 SUMMER FAIL)
2. Fourth of July fireworks
3. Summer squash
4. Fried green tomatoes
5. Really, anything from the garden
6. The beach, for those summers we are lucky enough to pull ourselves together, drive approximately eight hours, and get to one
7. Breezy summer nights
8. Sangria (this should really be number One)
9. Fireflies
10. Lance’s birthday
11. Swimming/boating/snorkeling
12. Sundresses

I think that’s all. And as you can see, most of these are either water-related (which makes you feel cooler), or food-related (which makes me feel better). My WINTER list, however, would be endless. I think it’s a testament to how much I long for winter that I unwittingly found myself singing Noah to sleep last night with Christmas songs.

((sigh)) Five more months. I don’t think I’ll make it.