out of Kadesh

Ok, I know it’s Sunday, but I’m so psyched about my menu plan this week that I decided to post it today. Plus I’m actually doing a Sunday through Friday menu as of the beginning of this year, with only Saturday nights up for grabs. Usually we walk down the street for dinner at one of the local East Nashville restaurants or we order a pizza and watch a family movie together, but last night we had cabin fever and decided to go out and have an adventure.

And let me tell you where that got us. We began discussing our dinner plans around 3:30pm, and we still hadn’t decided on a place when we left the house at 6:15pm. We wanted a place that would be kid-friendly but still have delicious food and a non-Chuck-E-Cheese atmosphere… is that too much to ask, really? We still didn’t know where the hell we were going as we pulled out of our neighborhood and slowed to a stop at the first intersection. “What do you feel like?” “I don’t know, what do you feel like?” “I don’t know. Noah, what do you feel like?” “Noooooo! Go hooome! Train table, train table!” ……… “So what do you NOT feel like?” Finally we discussed our desire for country cooking, which we don’t have very often, and we ended up going to a place we’d never been called Monell’s, which is apparently a Nashville tradition. We sat around a big table with people we didn’t know and the servers brought out bowl after bowl of delicious southern fare, which we passed around to each other, and we ate a feast of biscuits, cornbread, peach preserves, hush puppies, fried catfish, squash, mashed potatoes, corn pudding, green beans, turnip greens, and banana pudding. Oh man oh man, it was good. (Oh man oh man, I farted it up like a pregnant lady when we got home.)

Saturdays are a crapshoot, in other words. Which is why I like having a menu planned for the rest of the week.

Also, I’ve started making double portions of whatever I’m cooking so I can freeze half of it. I’m looking forward to Lance heating up some of these home-cooked meals after New Baby arrives. I wish I’d been this prepared when Noah was born. (Of course, I’m also looking forward to lots and lots of sushi takeout. I miss you sushi. Come back to me.)

So here’s the menu this week, y’all. I hope you make something from it and your toddler doesn’t scream EW NO! at you when you put it down in front of him. Because that’s what I have to look forward to every night this week. ANYWAY.

Sunday: Tomato-cheese risotto cakes (recipe in a follow-up post), roasted broccoli, homemade cranberry sauce (If it is shaped like a can please do not call it cranberry sauce in my presence. Thank you.)
Monday: Vegetable tostadas
Tuesday: (Valentine’s Day Special, y’all. In honor of my least favorite, Hallmark-made-up, obligatory, consumer-driven “holiday.”) Cheese and chocolate fondue (use apples and bread for the cheese, and lots of fresh fruit for the chocolate)
Wednesday: Salad with roasted corn and goat cheese, corn chowder, bread
Thursday: Tetrazzini (Minus turkey, add peppers, substitute veggie broth for chicken broth… in short, this recipe is really forgiving. Do what you like with it.)
Friday: Baked potato bar (use this link as a guide but basically use whatever toppings you feel like), baked cinnamon apples

Hunker down and eat well this week, y’all.

Before we were parents, we were such good parents. Kids only EAT chicken fingers and pizza and grilled cheese sandwiches because that’s all parents FEED them, we said. If you FEED kids vegetables, they’ll eat vegetables! We were so smart.

When we had Noah, I was all, I’ma feed him smashed up vegetables and other smashed up food from our own plates so that he will have a wide variety of tastes. Cause I was so smart.

Now Noah is two. Every week I plan a list of vegetable-heavy menu items that I will painstakingly shop for, prepare, and set in front of him. And every week he will ignore what I have set in front of him and ask for “mo’ bread peese.” Every time we sit down to dinner I try to mask a green bean or pepper or vegetable in some rice or cheese and feed him a forkful, only to watch him roll it around in his mouth and spit out the healthy part. He’ll glare at me and say “EW” or “NO.” And then he will refuse to eat another bite.

What happened? We don’t eat fast food; we don’t eat junk. We eat only organic fruits and vegetables, homemade, whole grain breads, organic dairy, and very occasionally, lean meats like chicken or fish. His sugar intake is extremely limited. If we go out to a restaurant and they have all beige foods on the kid’s menu, we just order a healthy side for him and share off our own plates.

But every time, he will pick out the mac-n-cheese. Chicken. Bread, bread, bread. Rice. Pizza. Cheese. A tortilla, PLAIN. Pasta, PLAIN. ICE CREAM. I made vegetable pad thai the other night, which turned out REALLY delicious, I must say, and he spit it out and was all “NO NO NO EWWW NO!” What the??? (And while we’re on the subject, where did this behavior come from? I certainly have never done that when I’ve tasted something. Maybe I’d do that if I accidentally ate poop or something, but I can’t envision ever having such a violent reaction to FOOD.) I had to rinse the pasta and the veggies so that he would eat it because he wanted it PLAIN, for God’s sake. It was ridiculous!

It’s like toddlers just know they’re supposed to be picky eaters who refuse food that is not pure starch. They learn it all during their stay in the womb, and then they send each other eye messages when they’re passing at the playground. I think the bestseller is called the Post-Uterus Bible or something, but I’m not sure because I’m a grown-up and not allowed to see it. (I’ll tell you a secret, Reader: I’m still smart, though. For lunch I feed him frozen “chicken nuggets” which are actually made out of like mushrooms or something. He only THINKS he’s getting toddler food, HA-HA!) (If you see him, please don’t tell him.) (Unless you want him at your house for lunch every day.)

Now here’s where he displays the oddest dinner behavior of all, y’all. Two nights ago we were sitting down to dinner and he was beginning his usual pre-meal protest. He looked at the plate that I set in front of him, which was devoid of pizza and ice cream and full of broccoli and carrots and other things that came straight from Hell, picked up his fork, and began prodding the contents with a look of utmost displeasure. Then came the “Nooooooooooo! No! No! No!”s as he searched, unsuccessfully, for a piece of cheese or bread underneath the offending vegetables. Then, as Lance and I sat down, he set down his fork, bowed his head low over his plate, and held out his hands: one to Lance and one to me.

Lance and I were nonplussed. What the heck was this kid doing now? Witchcraft, to rid his plate of miserable health? Was he prostrating himself before us in an effort to win our mercy? We stared at him for a few seconds, waiting to see what was to come next, but he just stayed still like that, head bowed, hands outstretched. “Um…. do you…. want to pray or something?” we asked him. “Yeah,” came his muffled reply.

Ok, freeze frame. Lance and I pray together over most meals, and obviously Noah is present for those. But our prayer is a memorized one that we say together. We never hold hands, and we NEVER bow heads. We usually look at each other and, in turn, at Noah. So the thought that is flying through both our heads is something like, “What the fuuuuh???”

“You know, Buddy, you don’t have to bow your head like that in order to talk to God…” No reply. No movement. Just chin tucked serenely onto chest, and waiting, outstretched little hands.

He wants to pray! He wants to…pray? Not only does he want to pray, he wants to pray like this? All, fundamental-like? (He saw this in a book, Lance thinks? Or maybe he remembers seeing his grandparents do this?) So… sure, then, I guess? (Yes, that is how many question marks are necessary, because that’s how many were hovering over our heads that night.) We all hold hands to pray and I say something like, “Dear God, Please help Noah to love this delicious dinner and eat it all up, amen.” Just as a joke, y’all. But I swear to God he says, “Ay-mee-uhn,” like he’s from Nashville, picks up his fork, and starts shoveling food into his face.

ZOMG, that prayer WORKED!? IT WAS LIKE MAGIC. Of course, a couple of forkfuls in, he realized what he was doing and starting spitting food out and acting normal again, but at first IT WAS LIKE MAGIC.

I made macaroni and cheese for lunch today.

Noah woke up and wanted “orin joosh, chicken, wafeesh, mac in cheeshe” (orange juice, chicken, waffles, and mac-n-cheese) for breakfast this morning, so I decided to reward his ability to make and express decisions.

It’s hard to believe I ever ate macaroni and cheese out of a box. It was standard college fare, but I could never go back. Rich and creamy, with a bread crumb crust… homemade is so much better, y’all. I used this recipe, with a few tweaks (like onion powder, garlic, and the bread crumbs on top). I halved the recipe also, and we still had leftovers. Make it tonight for lunch tomorrow… you’ll thank me.

On the menu this week are a lot of my sort of old standbys, so I don’t have recipes for a lot of them, but if you would like to know how to do any of this just let me know (and yes I know I’m a day late…):

Monday: Chicken souvlaki with tzatziki, oven fries
Tuesday: Eggplant parmesan, roasted broccoli
Wednesday: Corn chowder
Thursday: Jamaican grilled chicken, hot corn (recipe follows), roasted green beans
Friday: Roasted eggplant and tomato pizza (I’m also roasting a red bell pepper to add to mine)

Enjoy!

Recipe for Hot Corn (I got this recipe years ago from a friend in Huntsville, and every once in a while we pull it out. Not remotely healthy but it’s great for a cold night because it sticks to your ribs. Plus it’s gloriously spicy.)
1/2 package cream cheese
1/2 stick butter
~1/8 cup milk
1/4 cup chopped jalapenos (from the jar) (this is to taste, so add more if you can take it, less if you can’t)
~2 tablespoons jalapeno juice
2 cups corn (defrost first if using frozen)

1. Melt the cream cheese and butter together in a medium baking dish
2. Stir in the milk and mix until creamy
3. Mix in the jalapenos, juice, and corn
4. Bake at 350 for 30 minutes(ish) until set and bubbly
5. Ignore calories. Indulge guiltlessly.

Monday: Lentil-potato shepherd’s pie (I’m using all plain potatoes this time, but I’ve used sweet as well for this recipe and they’re also great), kale sauteed with onions and garlic

Tuesday: Black bean burrito bake, mexican rice

Wednesday: Spaghetti with lentil-ricotta “meat”balls, roasted broccoli

Thursday: Black bean and sweet potato chili (This is without doubt the best chili I have ever tasted, and that includes chili with meat. AND I don’t even like sweet potatoes. Please make this this week.), corn bread

Friday: Thai chicken coconut curry, rice

Shortcut hint: cook the lentils and the black beans all at once and refrigerate the leftovers for the other two meals in which you need them.

Vegan/salvage hint: Use coconut milk instead of cow’s milk for the potatoes in the shepherd’s pie, then use the leftovers for the curry.

Monday: Vegetarian fajitas (add whatever veggies you like: peppers, onions, broccoli, squash… and saute with cumin, garlic, chili powder, salt, and lime juice), mexican rice

Tuesday: Garden vegetable soup in a bread bowl

Wednesday: Cobb salad (minus the chicken and bacon) with honey mustard dressing

Thursday: Vegetarian corn dogs, seasoned fries, side salad

Friday: We’re going out of town for the weekend, but I’d leave Friday for leftovers anyway. Trust me, you will have them.

Monday: Lentil loaf with mashed potatoes and asparagus

Tuesday: Grilled chicken & roasted red pepper panini, fries

Wednesday: Pasta in tomato-chile cream sauce (I’m doing it without the shrimp), salad

Thursday: Chicken makhani with rice

Friday: Taco pizza

Monday – Cajun chicken pasta, salad

Tuesday – Lentil-ricotta ball sub sandwiches with homemade marinara and provolone, broccoli

Wednesday – Black bean, pepper, and sweet potato chili, leftover bread from subs

Thursday – Baked lemon-pepper chicken, summer couscous salad

Friday – Black bean burritos, guacamole

I’m starting to feel better. I’m starting to feel less like I’m going to barf if you mention the word “garlic” or if I enter my kitchen. I’m starting to feel less dependent on ginger ale and crackers. I’m starting to be able to think about food again without running, gagging, to the toilet. I’m starting to be able to make menus again and go shopping at the grocery store without having to pause and hold on to the cart for support after passing the lettuce. I’m starting to be able to cook again, and enjoy it. It’s been a GREAT WEEK. To celebrate, I’m making TWO new recipes this week (links below), as opposed to one. Hooray, food!

Also, since I was about six weeks pregnant, I’ve started eating a little bit of chicken again. It was something I had weird cravings for, so I decided to listen to my body and pack in the protein.

Monday: “Mexico City” cous cous salad with goat cheese (idea stolen from Silly Goose), guacamole
Tuesday: Chicken pot pie, fresh fruit salad
Wednesday: Homemade spinach ravioli with marinara sauce, salad
Thursday: Baked potato soup, jalapeno cheese bread
Friday: Chicken tacos, rice